Whats going on with me?

 I have been out of a job for a month now. Here is my daily routine:

1. wake up whenever. 
2. brush my teeth
3. take a bath or not
4. consume TV, laptop, phone. at times all three at the same time.
5. order food online for lunch/dinner, its always junk food
6. make coffee whenever
7. stay up until late night. i once went to sleep at 6:30 am.

Where has it got me:

1. my mind and thoughts are always cloudy
2. i keep forgetting things. i once saw a movie and kept forgetting the name of the lead character while the movie was still on.
3. i have gained 10 kgs

What's going on in my mind:

1. i have lost the will to live. no one will notice. maybe a couple will of them but they will get on with their lives. and they should.
2. i dont know what i want. i try to put myself in auto mode saying do whats necessary. but then i wonder whats the point of anything that i do or dont.

What have I tried:

1. went to a psychiatrist and paid 100$ for a 20 min session. after 2 visits, i knew it wasnt gonna work for me and i couldnt afford this luxury at this stage of my life.
2. attempted to get back to exercise and meditation. just cant.
3. tried to stay objective and not dwelve in the past or compare but when everything is right in my face, what do i do

What can potentially happen next:

1. i dont know
2. one or the other, this will end. i just hope to be around to see how it does.